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Years ago, I was obsessed with the ministry I was in. My wife Norma argued about it and I realized I had made ministry an idol. She gave up and stopped fighting me about my obsession and it unleashed a powerful force in my life, though neither of us understood it at the time.
Independent of me, Norma learned how to get in line and bring her needs to God. Rather than complain to me, she prayed, "Lord, thank you that all I need is you. You know I want a good relationship with Gary and that I want him to spend more time with the kids and me. I'm going to stop fighting Gary and instead ask you either to change him or help me see what your will is."
Remember I am the one that needed the help. But she stopped expecting life from me and started looking to God. The results were startling. I noticed the change almost immediately. When I came home from work, I sensed a calm spirit in her. Norma's face was peaceful, no longer tense.
I couldn't keep from asking what had happened. "Gary, I got tired of fighting you," she explained calmly. "I realized that I wasn't trusting God concerning our marriage and family, and so I decided to stop complaining and start praying."
Imagine what that did to me. I was convicted that my priorities were out of balance. Once we're into the habit of seeking fulfillment from the world, we won't learn overnight to look to God as the source of life. It took Norma and me months before looking to the Lord became our natural, first response, and we still catch ourselves focusing on someone or something other than God.
Where are you looking today for your source of happiness?
Gary (& Norma) Smalley
Editor, Smalley Relationship Center
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